I Will Only Love You
by I am the HERO AMERICA
Summary: Morgana is evil, the whole kingdom knew this. Why does Merlin feel this way for her though? He can't help but think of her and smile about her. He decided he must do what anyone with a bad case of love must do: join the one they love. What happens next? Is Emrys revealed? Does Merlin truly hate Camelot and who will fall in this final battle? ONESHOT! 'T' for violence.


**A/N: What have I done? MERGANA FOR THE WIN! Also, I don't want flame reviews. This is a onceshot, deal with it. Also, I would like your hate and flames left in the main hall of Don'tSayThattoaLadyOplis. **

**REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

**~Usachan!  
~Enjoy!**

* * *

Morgana was evil, I knew that. The whole kingdom knew that. But, why did I still feel this way for her. Camelot felt less like home without her and I couldn't be happy without her. I tried to convince myself otherwise, and for a while, it had worked.

"Merlin, why do you look so distracted?" Arthur asked as he watched me polish his armor. I shrugged, I had just been thinking about her again. "N-no reason." I laughed nervously before looking back at my reflection in the now shiny metal, it showed my face and ears burning red with embarrassment.

"Well? It's obviously not nothing. You're huge ears can tell no lie. Is it a girl?" Arthur smiled knowingly and nudged me in the shoulder, I laughed a little bit before going back to my usual gloom. I could never tell Arthur who I loved, not ever.

"Well, she's lucky to have you." Arthur nodded approvingly.

"We're not dating, or together, it'll never work." I sighed as I stood up with Arthur to put his armor on him. He sighed as he put his head into the armor.

"Merlin, have I taught you anything?"

"Yeah, you've taught me how to be a pompous prat." I chuckled. He hit me over the head with his glove then put it on his hand.

"You know what I mean, Merlin."

"No, I don't. You don't talk about girls, unless it's Gwen or Morgana." I choked out her name, it hurt to say it, it would never hold the same bright and cheery soul I had met when I first came to Camelot. It would only hold the twisted, sad soul of the woman I had once loved.

"Yes, but I've told you how to win their hearts." He pointed out to me as he spun on his heel to face me. He smiled deviously, and I knew I was going to regret taking his advice.

"Refresh my memory please." I said sarcastically as I dodged another swipe.

"First, you must call me King of Love and Advice for Love and Ladies." He crossed his arms and gave me his dead serious face, there was no way to get out of this.

"No."

"Yes."

"Never!"

"Common, do you want to win her heart or not?"

"Yes, but I don't want to call you that, Prince Arthur." This time I let him hit me, because that was the only way to get him to tell me. He grabbed my head and pulled me into a headlock, then he ruffled my hair. "Say it!"

"Nev...er!" I choked out with a sassy grin on my face.

"Then you're never going to get out of this." He sighed and continued to ruffle my hair, with his fist.

"Okay! Okay! You are the King of Love and a Lot of Other Stuff That I Can't Remember!" I gasped for air when he let me drop to the ground, falling on my hands and knees.

"Oh common, Merlin! Buck up!" He laughed as he pulled me to my feet. "Now, about that advice." He smiled his real smile at me and I knew he only wanted to help. He was my best friend and I couldn't live without him.

"What do I do first?" I asked eagerly.

"First, you must treat her like royalty, so better than you treat me, after all she is a woman and you must treat her as such. Second, you must do whatever it takes to show her you only love her, if she thinks for even a second that you love someone else, then she will never fall for you. And lastly, just be yourself, but not too much like yourself. A version of yourself, one that's not clumsy, or an idiot." He punched me lightly in the shoulder and gave me a goofy grin, it made me laugh.

"Geez, I feel so enlightened right now."

"You asked for advice, I was just being a good friend and trying to help you get a girl, but clearly you don't need my help because you can do it all on your own." He got up and stormed away, not angrily, just trying to prove a point.

* * *

I left for the woods that evening, just before dinner. I had asked Gwen to take Arthur his dinner and she agreed happily, wanted to make the love of her life, and mine, happy.

When I got to the woods I wasn't sure what I expected, but I definitely didn't expect an attack as soon as I stepped over the border. The Saxons ran at me, weapons bared at battle cries let out. I raised my hands in surrender before they could dish out the pain.

"Stop! I come in peace! Please!" I called out as the largest one almost took my head off with a mace. I sighed in relief as he lowered his weapon. My relief was short lived as he knocked me over the head.

* * *

When I came around I was in a hovel of some sort, tied down to a chair and dowsed in ice cold water. I gasped as the world started to make sense around me. Morgana had me tied to a chair, and was standing right above me.

"Well,if it isn't the Prince's servant. Fancy seeing you here." She sneered. I felt my heart skip a few beats, this was it, I was actually going to do it. Be cool, man!

"Like wise." I smiled playfully up at her. She whipped around and glared down at me with her beautiful stormy gray eyes. I fell in love with her all over again.

"What do you want?" She growled, her anger never wavering. She grabbed my face and leaned in close, "well, what is it?"

"I've come to pledge my allegiance."

"What makes you think I want you on my side?" She laughed.

"I'm the Prince's servant, you're mortal enemy. I know things you couldn't even imagine about him." She seemed to hesitate with her answer before she shoved my face away.

"You're just a useless servant, that's all." She shook her head, trying to shake the thought of all the information I knew from her head most likely.

"It's true. In fact, I know the route he'll take for his patrol tomorrow. I know where he set up guard posts and most of all, I know how to get to Uther." I glared up at her, I had just told her the most important things I could have, well except for one thing.

"That I can get, I have spies all over Camelot." She said with an air of causality, that means only one thing, I have to tell her my biggest secret.

"I- I know where Emrys is." My voice broke as I let the words tumble out. She rounded on me, glaring at me. She grabbed my face and spoke in a dangerously low voice, "You better not be lying to me."

"I'm not. But if you hurt him, I can promise you, he'll never join you and will be destroyed by him." I warned her, my voice equally low and equally dangerous.

"Fine, but if I think for a moment that he wishes to bring me harm, I will not hesitate to have him killed. By my hands or another's, he will die." She leaned in closer, I could feel her breath on my face and the heat in my cheeks. She was so close, I could feel the nerves rising up in my mind as she started into my eyes.

**_I am Emrys_**. I spoke in her mind. She gasped, stumbling backwards into a shelf.

"No, no you're not!" She whispered as she tried to get up and run away. I nodded my head, fighting away the tears that longed to be set free. I hung my head and whispered a few words. I felt my eye burn the same gold when I did magic and then my bonds were undone. I walked over to Morgana and knelt down next to her. Her eyes were wild with panic as she tried to scurry away from me, but was trapped between the shelf, the wall and myself. I placed a shaking hand on her cheek and gently forced her to look at me. "Morgana, I am Emrys, but I would never hurt you." I promised her. Her tearful eyes looked into mine and slowly she started to nod, believing my words.

"I am here to only serve you, my lady." More tears fell out of her eyes, but they were happy tears and she nodded again.

* * *

_**~Arthur P.O.V The next day~**_

"Where the hell is Merlin?!" Arthur asked as he wandered around, looking for his useless man servant.

"I have no idea, sire, but you must eat something." Gwen instructed as she set the table for lunch. Arthur walked away from the window and past Gwen. He was very angry, why was it that Merlin always managed to disappear on him. He was probably at the tavern, again. He doesn't deserve any days off. Arthur shook his head as he stormed down corridors that were bustling with servants as they prepared for his birthday banquet. He didn't care much for a banquet or celebration of any kind in his honor, all he wanted was his father to be better and Merlin to stop hanging around at the tavern!

"Merlin! I Swear if you're still in bed and aren't ready for the day in ten seconds I'm going to hang you!" Arthur called as he entered the rooms that Gaius and Merlin shared.

"Sire, I can assure you Merlin is not here! And no, I have no idea where he is!" Gaius said as he ran around the the table and quieted Arthur down. Arthur was calmed a little bit by Gaius, but when Arthur released his man servant could still be at the tavern, he got angry all over again.

"Gaius, is he at the tavern?"

"No, not that I know of. We can go check..." Gaius said as he started making some kind of pink liquid.

"No, no it's fine. I can make do without him." Arthur growled as he walked out of the room and back down the hall.

"Arthur, I checked the tavern, he's not there. I didn't think he was though, giving what he told me last night." Gwen started as she walked over to Arthur and handed him a folded up red cloth that was his cloak.

"What did he tell you last night?" Arthur asked as he started to put the cloak on.

"That he was going to take your advice and tell the woman he loved his true feelings, or something like that."

"That's funny, I never told him to say that." Arthur laughed as Gwen adjusted the cloak to be centered on his shoulders and back. He smiled and hugged Gwen close to his body.

"You're too modest." She smiled and looked into his eyes.

"No, really I didn't." Arthur laughed as he leaned down and kissed Gwen lightly on the lips.

* * *

_**~Merlin, later that evening~**_

"My lady, I have promising news." I stated as I kneeled before Morgana. She nodded, a signal for me to continue, "Uther Pendragon is dead." She looked shocked, a pleased shook that made her beautiful smile come out to play. She got up and pulled me to my feet.

"Merlin, I could just kiss you!" She squealed as she hugged me. I stiffened as she pulled me into her warm embrace, she was actually hugging me. She let me go too soon and regained her composure.

"Now, I have a simple task to ask of you." She smiled at me. I felt goosebumps down my spine. She leaned in close and whispered into my ear a special task that I alone could preform. I nodded as she pulled away and smiled sweetly at me. "I knew you could handle it."

I smiled and set to work getting everything prepared. I grabbed my messenger bag off the table and filled it with random poisons and herbs. I then grabbed a piece of parchment and began the letter:

_Dear Arthur Pendragon,_

_As you and I are both aware, your precious king has met his end. I would say how sorry I am, except I am ecstatic about the death of Uther Pendragon. If you are not aware, we are declaring war on you._

_Love,_

_your sister_

I smiled at my handy work then rolled the parchment into a scroll and shoved it into the bag. "Morgana! I'm headed out!" I called as I started out the door.

"Wait!" She came running over to me and wrapped her arms around my midsection. I gasped, breathing heavily as I tried to get my brain working, she was hugging me.

"Thank you, Merlin." She said. She kissed my cheek then returned to the shadows of the hovel.

One outside the hovel, I let out the most manly of manly squeals. She kissed me on the chee-

"Merlin?!" I hadn't realized I was walking until the astonished voice spoke from somewhere to my left.

"Oh, uh, hi, Lancelot." I stammered as he came over and embraced me.

"Where have you been?" He asked, starting to pull me towards Camelot, and my plan was put in action.

"Oh you know, collecting herbs for Gaius. Thought I could surprise him with the herbs he needed. He's been so weighed down with his work lately." I quickly lied with a sly smile on my face. He paid me no mind as he led the way through the forest.

"Hey, Lancelot, thank you for keeping my secret." I said as I shoved the hidden knife into his back. "Let's keep this a secret, too." I let myself look into his eyes and saw how hurt he looked, not by the knife, but by my actions. I let him drop to the ground; the life slowly draining from his body.

"Why?" He asked, his voice hurt, he was right on the brink of death.

"_Why?_ Because I only have one true master: Morgana." He let an evil chuckle out of my mouth and leaned in close, "Still think I support Arthur?" I laughed and kicked him, knocking the life out of the so called knight. I let out a chuckle, this would be easier than I thought.

* * *

"GAIUS!" I called as I rushed into the room, Lancelot slung over my shoulder.

"Merlin? Where have you been?" He asked as he slowly walked away from a cabinet. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped dead when he saw Lancelot. "What happened?"

"No idea! I was in the forest getting those herbs you asked for the other day and I saw him, can you save him?" I asked, my chest heaving to catch the air that fought so desperately to escape.

Gaius mumbled as he leaned in and listened to Lancelot's heart, then he moved to feel his face: stone cold.

"I-I'm sorry, he's already dead." Gaius stammered as he reached for a cloth to cover the body. I had to act fast, if the body was covered before the note was found, then I would fail. I mustn't fail.

"Gaius, who could have done this?" I asked, forcing my voice to break as I sat down, exhausted from carrying the man all the way from the forest.

"I don't know, maybe it wa- what's this?" He asked, reaching for the rolled up note sticking out of Lancelot's belt. He grabbed it and unrolled it carefully. He started to read, I had known he was finished when he gasped. I faked my eager curiosity as I moved around the table, "What does it say, Gaius?"

"Morgana is declarin-" Arthur burst into the room.

"Gai- _MERLIN?!_ Where the hell have you been?" He hollered as he stormed over to me, grabbing me by my neckerchief.

"I was collecting herbs for Gaius." I said, holding up the bag of herbs, feeling proud that I had thought ahead.

"What's happened to Lancelot?" He asked, forgetting about me and running to the knight's side.

"One of Morgana's men. They're declaring war on us, sire." Gaius stepped in, handing Arthur the note. I took in a sharp gasp, Arthur was familiar with my handwriting. Would Arthur recognize my handwriting?

"Gaius, I want all your remedies for injuries prepared, we are going to strike her before she strikes us." Arthur turned on his heels and rushed from the room.

"I'm going to get more yarrow, we've barely got enough for one man." I ran from the room, hearing Gaius call for another herb, but I didn't care at all. My plan was working!

* * *

"Morgana! They're on their way, our plan is working perfectly!" I smiled, out of breath from my run through the forest.

"Oh, this is wonderful! I am finally going to rule Camelot and it's all thanks you to." She smiled proudly at me and I felt wonderful. She cupped my face with her hands and whispered gently, "There is only one thing left to do: get our men ready."

* * *

Over the next year, we fought with Camelot; we won most of the time, but every so often Arthur would rise to our challenge and win a small battle. The war was not over, not by a long shot, then one day I found myself in the middle of it all.

"Merlin! I need you to get more men, they're all still at camp!" Arthur shouted as I ran past, after all this time, I was still spying on him for Morgana. I hated Arthur more than anything and wasn't about to give him the men he needed to win this battle. I stopped dead in my tracks and glared at Arthur for a moment before I shouted at him: "I will never help you again!" I raised my arm and mumbled an incantation to send him flying backwards. He flew about thirty feet away; I could hear him yelling at me, but I couldn't make out what he was yelling.

"Emrys! Where is Arthur?" Morgana asked from behind me, grabbing my hand and following my gaze. I pointed to the spot where Arthur started coming back to the clearing and she smiled her beautiful, evil smile once again. I smiled back, loving this woman even more than when I betrayed Camelot.

"Merlin? What's going on, you have-"

"Magic! I have magic. I was born with it and you can't stop me." I growled at him. "Oh and by the way, I killed Lancelot, I have sided with Morgana for a very long time now. You will never win!" I started to laugh when I saw the look on his face; he looked like a wounded animal that had been kicked by the one it thought it could trust. His eyes searched mine for any sign of a bluff, but he could see none and he would never know one. His shoulders slumped forward as he raised his sword in an effort to fend us off, but Morgana and I simply laughed at his weak effort.

"You think that can stop us, a priest and priestess of the Old Religion? Or rather, the most powerful wizard to ever live and his true love? Do you really thing you can stop us?" Morgana asked with a laugh, but Arthur still raised his sword and stared defiantly at us.

"You my be sorcerers, but I _will_ defeat you! Magic will never be plentiful again!" He shouted, rushing toward us and I realized something: he had Excalibur. I reached for my belt and found that the sword had disappeared from it's place on my belt. Magic. I quickly shoved Morgana out of the way as Arthur came too close for comfort. He stopped, blade inches from my chest and I could see the pain and fear that swam in his eyes. He tried to move the blade forward, straight into my heart, but he couldn't. He stood there with me held at his mercy and he couldn't even kill me. He couldn't kill the one man he thought he could trust with his life.

What have I done?

"Merlin, I know you're still in there. I know you still are the boy I'd met all those years ago, the one who called me an ass, and a prat an-and a clotpole. I just can't..." Arthur threw the sword at my feet. He held his arms out, as if he was asking me to kill him. He probably was, I bet he couldn't stand the fact that his best friend was not only a sorcerer, but I traitor as well. I grabbed Excalibur and held it in my hand for a few moments. I looked over at Morgana, then back to Arthur. I could end it all with one thrust.

I knew what I had to do. I turn the blade around and pointed it at my stomach. I didn't feel the fear I thought I would as I let the blade over over my stomach, I only felt the weight of all that I had done weighing on top of my shoulders. I took a deep breath and plunged the blade into my stomach.

The world began to fade in and out. I vaguely remember Arthur screaming my name as I fell to the ground. I remember Morgana screaming in horror as I pulled the blade out and tossed it aside.

"Merlin, why did you," Arthur asked, fumbling for words he couldn't find and held back the tears that tried to free themselves from his eyes. I laughed and winced at the pain I barely felt then reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I was blinded by love, my friend. I saw no wrong in what I did or what I had become. You will win this war." I smiled as tears fell from my eyes, I could escape destiny and find the people who had left me behind.

"No, Merlin, you won't die, don't be an idiot!" Arthur sobbed as he grabbed my free hand and held onto it tightly, like holding my hand would somehow keep me from fading away.

"No can do, it's part of my charm." My laugh turned into a cough as I felt everything tipping and losing it's focus.

"Merlin, you can't die!" Arthur shook me, but it was too late. I was as good as gone.

"I'm sorry." I whispered out those words and let myself fall out of this world, _forever_.


End file.
